I know that Orac is the acknowledged king of woo-busting and I’m no Orac, but seriously, once I read Orac’s post, I couldn’t resist pointing and laughing at Esogetic Colorpuncture™. I’m only human after all, and if people are going to be this ridiculous, well…what’s a gal to do?
What, you might reasonably ask, is Esogetic Colorpuncture?
Colorpuncture involves focusing colored light on acupuncture (and other) points on the skin in order to energize powerful healing impulses in our physical and energy bodies.
Uh-huh. ::nods sagely:: Tell me more, please.
As the light is absorbed by the skin and transmitted along energetic pathways or meridians deep into the body, it stimulates intra-cellular communication which supports healing.
Really. You don’t say. No, really, you don’t say, because that’s COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT.
::coughs:: Sorry about that. It’s just an automatic reaction I have when people say things that are so bizarre that my brain doesn’t even know where to start. There’s wrong and there’s OMGWTFLOLBBQpolarbears. And then there’s “colorpuncture.”
Look, I’m fairly dubious about acupuncture’s utility in treating most things. There’s some very very tentative evidence that it might be slightly better than placebo at dealing with some kinds of chronic pain. Maybe. Possibly. But at least acupuncture involves actually touching and changing something in the human body, so I have to grant there is at least a minuscule chance it could be having an effect.
But shining colored lights??? Seriously? Seriously? What are they smoking?
If you are ill and suspect that your bodily symptoms may be related to old traumas or unresolved emotional issues, or to your confusion or lack of direction in life, Colorpuncture can help you access and heal the roots of your problems.
::snort:: Psychotherapy will probably cost about the same, but I’ll guarantee it’s more effective.
Esogetic ColorpunctureTM uses Peter Mandel’s system of Kirlian Energy Emission AnalysisTM to quickly and accurately determine which treatment will be most effective for the client. This system provides a before and after photograph of the light emanating from the client’s fingers and toes.
::falls off chair, laughing hysterically:: Oh, well, that explains it. They haven’t just drunk the Kool-Aid, they’ve siphoned out all their blood and replaced with Kirlian Kool-Aid.
(Check out the Skeptic’s Dictionary if you would like to know why Kirlian photography is also completely and utterly useless.)
Sometimes I really wonder if humanity deserves to live. We’re just that dumb a species, aren’t we? Good grief.