Shining light on, well, quacks shining light

I know that Orac is the acknowledged king of woo-busting and I’m no Orac, but seriously, once I read Orac’s post, I couldn’t resist pointing and laughing at Esogetic Colorpuncture™. I’m only human after all, and if people are going to be this ridiculous, well…what’s a gal to do?

What, you might reasonably ask, is Esogetic Colorpuncture?

Colorpuncture involves focusing colored light on acupuncture (and other) points on the skin in order to energize powerful healing impulses in our physical and energy bodies.

Uh-huh. ::nods sagely:: Tell me more, please.

As the light is absorbed by the skin and transmitted along energetic pathways or meridians deep into the body, it stimulates intra-cellular communication which supports healing.

Really. You don’t say. No, really, you don’t say, because that’s COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT.

::coughs:: Sorry about that. It’s just an automatic reaction I have when people say things that are so bizarre that my brain doesn’t even know where to start. There’s wrong and  there’s OMGWTFLOLBBQpolarbears. And then there’s “colorpuncture.”

Look, I’m fairly dubious about acupuncture’s utility in treating most things. There’s some very very tentative evidence that it might be slightly better than placebo at dealing with some kinds of chronic pain. Maybe. Possibly. But at least acupuncture involves actually touching and changing something in the human body, so I have to grant there is at least a minuscule chance it could be having an effect.

But shining colored lights??? Seriously? Seriously? What are they smoking?

If you are ill and suspect that your bodily symptoms may be related to old traumas or unresolved emotional issues, or to your confusion or lack of direction in life, Colorpuncture can help you access and heal the roots of your problems.

::snort:: Psychotherapy will probably cost about the same, but I’ll guarantee it’s more effective.

Esogetic ColorpunctureTM uses Peter Mandel’s system of Kirlian Energy Emission AnalysisTM to quickly and accurately determine which treatment will be most effective for the client. This system provides a before and after photograph of the light emanating from the client’s fingers and toes.

::falls off chair, laughing hysterically:: Oh, well, that explains it. They haven’t just drunk the Kool-Aid, they’ve siphoned out all their blood and replaced with Kirlian Kool-Aid.

(Check out the Skeptic’s Dictionary if you would like to know why Kirlian photography is also completely and utterly useless.)

Sometimes I really wonder if humanity deserves to live. We’re just that dumb a species, aren’t we? Good grief.


About mamamara

I'm a 40-something, work-at-home mother of two. I'm pro-vaccine, pro-medicine, pro-science, and an avid reader of information about all of the above, and I want to combine my love for my children with my love for science. So here we are!
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3 Responses to Shining light on, well, quacks shining light

  1. Jenne says:

    “Psychotherapy will probably cost about the same, but I’ll guarantee it’s more effective.”
    Hey, I’ve been to a lot of psychotherapists. Some of them were a lot less effective than placebo. One or two were actively harmful. Somebody has to graduate in the lowest 10% of their class. 🙂 As a person who travels 4 hours every couple of months to see a particular psychiatrist because so many of my psychiatrist experiences were manipulative and abusive, I treasure a place in my heart for harmless placebos for those who can’t handle the emotional, intellectual and sometimes physical risks of conventional psycho/psychiatric treatment. (Still means I think the guy who tried alternative therapies for blood cancer was crazy though.)

    • mamamara says:

      Hmm, you do have a very good point. I think my phrasing was too general. Maybe something along the lines of “A competent psychotherapist…”? That doesn’t completely address what you’re saying, but it gets closer. I’ve really been remarkably lucky in my psychologist and psychiatrists. But I do know a number of people who’ve had crappy experiences.

      I’m really of two minds about placebos and someday I’ve got to do a post just about the placebo effect, placebo surgery, and the ethics of it all. The short version is that I agree with you about harmless placebos, but the “harmless” part is difficult and the ethics are very dicey. It makes me uncomfortable and I worry about people who don’t understand the difference.

  2. Jenne says:

    Oh yeah, and I agree with you that shining light on people, moxibustion, and laying on of rocks/crystals (among other things) are placebos at best.

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